An Evaluation of Loneliness

Abstract

Loneliness is not a simple mood, it is complicated and has several layers. An evaluation of loneliness aims to show the complexity of loneliness mood, indicate its layers and investigate loneliness by evaluating different approaches, authors and studies. It aims to review literature in order to understand and evaluate of different layers of loneliness such as types, reasons and outcomes of loneliness, the perception of lonely people, and coping mechanisms. It is important to understand its different layers in order to effectively help someone coping with it as it decreases the satisfaction of life and increases risky behaviour

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Introduction: Description of Loneliness

Loneliness is an unwanted and disturbing feeling. Loneliness is feeling alone in oneself or incomplete or not satisfied

enough rather than being physically alone. Unlike loneliness, if being alone is the result of a preferred choice, it may not

cause the feeling of loneliness.

Loneliness is a common and distressing problem (Bradburn, 1969). Even though on different levels, most of the people

experience loneliness at least once in their lives (Perlman and Peplau, 1981). Loneliness is described as the discrepancy

between the desired relationships and the actual relationships by Peplau et. al (1979). So it is the inadequacy and deficit in

the perceived social relationships. Loneliness is a state of emotion perceived subjectively rather than it is something that can

be measured with the number and physical proximity of the people around. In forming of the feeling of loneliness, the level

of satisfaction in social relationships rather than the number is important.

Weiss (1973) argued that loneliness is divided into two categories: Emotional loneliness and social loneliness. According

to the description that Weiss (1973) provided, emotional loneliness is the state that there is no close committing relationship,

and social loneliness is the state that there is no a satisfying social circle. Social loneliness is accompanied by the feelings of

being rejected and boredom. Weiss (1973) believed that emotional loneliness is more difficult and painful than the social

loneliness.

Possible Reasons of Loneliness

Loneliness is caused by various factors. Some of these cause loneliness to be long-term and more permanent and some

of them only cause temporary loneliness.

Possible Outcomes of Loneliness

Results of short term/temporary loneliness differentiate from the results of long term/permanent loneliness, at some points

they may overlap; however results of permanent loneliness may be more dramatic. Loneliness caused by temporary reasons

may become long term loneliness unless they are dealt with. For example, the reason of loneliness for a person who recently

moved is a temporary reason rather than a person who has a serious illness which effects last for longer. However the

recently moved person’s loneliness gets longer and become chronic unless he copes with the loneliness at this new place and

make satisfying relationships (Young,1982).

How people describe the cause of their loneliness also shows how they experience loneliness. The loneliness of a person

who blames himself rather than evaluating the situation and processes outside will be deeper (Russell, Peplau & Cutrona,

1980)

Coping with Loneliness

In order to cope with loneliness, both individual methods can be used and professional support can be received.

Studies have shown that individuals who turn towards individual activities such as reading and painting while they are

alone feel less lonely. Another research showed that the best way to suppress loneliness is to have a partner. Furthermore,

when the diaries of the students were examined, it was found out that individuals who are in a close relationship with a

female, no matter the individual is a female or male, feel less lonely.

Individuals who are lonely are suggested to go out, come out of their shells, spending time with other people, make

friends and joining social groups. Even though these suggestions can be applied successfully by individuals who experience

temporary loneliness, individuals who feel lonely because of their communication skill problems or their personal

characteristics, may not succeed in. It would be beneficial that these individuals apply to the support groups, because these

lonely people that are unable to communicate properly or lack of proper personal characteristics are less likely to cope with

their loneliness without help. Moreover, lonely people are suggested to talk about their loneliness to the people around them.

For some of socially isolated people, their feeling of loneliness may not be that much or may become less in time. The

reason for this is the lowering of expectations, thus the gap between the current social relationships and the desired social

relationships decreases. Even if social relationships are relatively few, the change in perception cools down the feeling of

loneliness (Weiss, 1973).

Therapy is an efficient way to change negative thoughts that accompany loneliness and which makes loneliness chronic,

negative self-concept and the perception about other people. Herd and Kubistant (1975 in Kubistant, 1981) suggested that

accepting loneliness and telling about it is an important step to do further in order to change the situation.

Another efficient method for lonely people other than therapy is social skills training. With the help of social skills

training, the lonely person can develop the social skills that he is not successful at and obtains the skills to cope with

loneliness. Talking fluently on the phone, starting a dialogue, complimenting and receiving compliments, being able to stand

silent moments, caring about physical appearance and learning nonverbal methods of communication are among the taught

social skills (Rook, 1984).

In conclusion, perception of one’s self indicates loneliness. Loneliness may be experienced as emotional and/or social

loneliness. The causes of loneliness may be temporary or permanent. Loneliness results in negative feelings, negative

perception of others and being negatively perceived by others, inability to cope with problems, psychosomatic disorders,

risky behaviours such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, suicide attempts and criminal behaviours. Loneliness overall

decreases the satisfaction of life. It is significant to effectively cope with loneliness in order to prevent its negative outcomes.

Individual attempts such as going out, involving in social activities can be solutions, unless they are successful attempts to

cope with loneliness, professional ways of getting help should be applied for, such as social skills trainings, group and

individual psychotherapy.

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